Antiprotips Collected

The #antiprotip series includes existing patterns or behavior that need to be avoided. If you find yourself inclining towards any of these things, please reconsider.

  • #antiprotip Harm to others is trumped by serious profits in pockets.
  • #antiprotip Take the quick road to mastery by declaring irrelevant all you don’t already know.
  • #antiprotip Want your subjects to do something they aren’t already? Declare it illegal.
  • #antiprotip“Dear Allah: You’re just a tool to gain power & authority over the Muslim masses & to submit them to our will.—The Party”
  • #antiprotip Since you can’t challenge a verse’s authenticity, declare it a misunderstood parable with you as its oracle of truth.
  • #antiprotip When picking a parking spot, always take the one that reduces the most options available to other drivers: maximize blockage
  • #antiprotip demand tawakkul from others while keeping tawaakul for yourself.
  • #antiprotip If at first you don’t succeed, lie, lie again.
  • #antiprotip First get them to reduce the Shari’ah to matters of consensus, and then pull the “no consensus on consensus” card.
  • #antiprotip It is said that sincerity is when public & private actions match—not that offline and online behavior match.
  • #antiprotip Revile Muslims who disagree with you as misguided enemies of truth; embrace non-Muslims as partners in Truth Faith.
  • #antiprotip The only true, valid test of principles, methods & paradigms is whether they arrive at your conclusion.
  • #antiprotip What we do is ijtihad; what they do is pure guesswork & wishful thinking.
  • #antiprotip The possibility that a Muslim might be doing something questionable justifies ignoring our own abominations.
  • #antiprotip There is no such thing as a legitimate difference of opinion. Everyone else is willfully misguided.
  • #antiprotip Prohibitions of the tongue are of the tongue—not the fingers! All are fine online so long as you’re just typing!
  • #antiprotip Your success is from you & your failings from circumstances. Their success is from circumstances & failings from themselves.
  • #antiprotip Ignorance is a sin; so you never have to admit it, just say anything and add “…but there are differences of opinion on this”
  • #antiprotip Blame Islam and ulema for everything: even for the failing of individuals that contradict well-known, core teachings.
  • #antiprotip When they engage modernity, say they’re unfaithful to tradition; when they use tradition, say they’re antimodern & backward.
  • #antiprotip Always blame it on the ulema.
  • #antiprotip Deep understanding of Arabic and reading classic texts are less important than narrative-building & creative writing skills.
  • #antiprotip Why change yourself when you can lobby & campaign to change Islam?
  • #antiprotip A few years at the academy & a single dissertation make me master of all who spent lifetimes & wrote encyclopedias.
  • #antiprotip Changing times always justifies relaxing laws; changing times never justify increasing structure.
  • #antiprotip Invoke respect for differences of opinions to secure your voice when minority;parade defeated straw men to deny them theirs.
  • #antiprotip Invoke subjective & relative truth to secure your voice; invoke objective & absolute to deny them theirs.
  • #antiprotip Apologize or deny; good PR is more important than presenting & defending inconvenient or unpopular truths.
  • #antiprotip Your iman should increase and decrease commensurate with Islam’s geopolitical dominance.
  • #antiprotip Disagreement with the values of the dominant culture is an indicator of hadith fabrication, weak evidence, bad use of usul.
  • #antiprotip Always remember that it’s “Brother Christian” but never “Brother Salafi” or “Brother Sufi”.
  • #antiprotip Daily rituals and awrad are for mere commoners. And you are no mere commoner.
  • #antiprotip Brotherhood: I’ve got your back while you’re getting me in mine.
  • #antiprotip Who needs usul al-fiqh when we can just do a market survey and give people what they want?
  • #antiprotip Don’t let things like criteria of reporting & witnessing complicate & hamper your gathering of information.
  • #antiprotip Don’t let things like the science of reports (mustalah al-hadith) get in the way of a good conspiracy theory.