Dear Mufti…


layout: post
title: “Dear Mufti…”
date: 2013-02-19 07:04
comments: true

categories:

The “Dear Mufti…” tweets express some of the messages conveyed within many of the requests I received. Some of the original question were sincere and serious, others were trollish. While most of the questions presented here are caricatures of groups of questions, a few are close to verbatim.


Q
“Dear Mufti, Declare riba halal so Allah declares war against you instead of me.”
A
No.


Q
“Dear Mufti, Affirm my lifestyle as Islamic & all prior centuries were misguided in spite of their greater piety & access to evidence.”
A
No.

Q
“Dear Mufti, Declare it super-duper double-plus haram to insult my corrupt lifestyle!”
A
The general prohibitions suffice & apply to all.

Q
“Dear Mufti, I did something all Muslims say is a haram. It’s halal, right? LOL!”
A
Are you asking about tawbah or declaring you don’t care?

Q
“Dear Mufti, Me and my halal-⟨boyfriend, girlfriend, whiskey, etc…⟩…”
A
/Blank look.

Q
“Dear Mufti, Is it halal to eat haram meat?”
A
I think you’re your own mufti on this one.