“Halal-certified” pigs & prostitutes

Youssef Sourgo of Morocco World News wrote about Nord Presse‘s report that a special bar will soon open in Amsterdam. What’s special about this bar is that it will offer the services of halal-certified prostitutes. Three imams were involved in establishing criteria to make everything halal-certified. The imams stipulated that the prostitutes must abstain from drugs and alcohol, be encouraged to perform their prayers – even while working, and observe certain limits in specific sexual acts.

Halal-certified prostitution bars are a major victory for halal-certification. Courageous halal-market entrepreneurs will soon be able to fill a market gap and provide a badly-needed service to individuals interested in pursuing extramarital pleasures without committing a single haram.

Not really. At the end of his piece, Youssef Sourgo writes that

As many of you should have realized, there is no way prostitution in Islam or any other religion can be Halal. This information has been published by a Belgian news website known for its parodies […].

It looks like Youssef has a point. Reading Nord Presse via Google translator shows that it has articles about virtual reality for chickens, weight reduction via amputation, and other oddities. They even have one about genetically modified halal pork. Even though this last one is intended as a parody, it does get into some of the things I mentioned in Ethical Dimensions of Nanotechnology.

First we had fake fatwas. Now we have satirical fatwas. Before we get upset about the fake and satirical fatwas coming from outside the Muslim community, maybe we should stop and reflect on the types of fatwas and legal opinions that come from within.

UPDATE The Morocco World News article is down, but you can still read a cached version. Some news agencies are taking the satire seriously.