(As requested, here’s a collection of today’s “Fiqh for Muslim Keyboard Warriors” posts from Facebook.)
Q. What is the status of accepting statements of people you like?
A. A personal obligation upon every member of the community of believers.
Q. What is the status of critically examining statements of people you like?
A. Unlawful for every member of the community of believers.
Q. What is the status of individuals who critically examine statements made by people you like?
A. Misguiding misguided deviant innovating enemies of Islam.
Q. What is the status of examining statements of people you dislike?
A. A personal obligation upon every member of the community of believers.
Q. What is the status of warning people against people you dislike?
A. A personal obligation upon every member of the community of believers.
Q. What is the status of anyone who doesn’t blindly accept this warning?
A. Misguiding misguided deviant innovating enemies of Islam.
Q. What are synonyms for fard al-ayn?
A. Fard al-kifayah, mustahab, sunnah.
Q. What are synonyms for haram?
A. Makruh.
Q. What is the status of mubah?
A. Mustahhab if I like you, haram if I don’t.
Q. What is the status of satire?
A. Mustahabb if I like you, haram if I don’t.
Q. What’s the status of lying?
A. Nuanced if I like you, haram if I don’t.
Q. What’s the status of showing others adab?
A. Wajib if I like you, completely optional if I don’t.
Q. What’s the status of requiring people to have qualifications?
A. Optional if I like you, wajib if I don’t.
Q. What’s the status of calling out bad qualifications?
A. Optional if I like you, wajib if I don’t.
Q. If Famous Faysal does bad things and, after refusing to mend his ways, Unfamous Umar calls him and it leads people to lose trust in Famous Fayal and Famous Fulans in general, who is at fault for this lack of trust?
A. Unfamous Umar.
Q. What is the status of calling people names they do not like?
A. Wrong if we like them, fair game if we don’t.
Q. What is the status of using a diminutive form of a name to cast derision and infantilize, like “Tar” instead of “Tareq”?
A. Hypocorism is wrong when used against us and people we like, fair game when used against people we don’t like.
Repeat what they said but with a louder voice and more emotion, and then accuse them of blindness, indifference, not carrying, lack of empathy, being remiss, and whatever else comes up in the thesaurus.
Wise Famous Fulans do not get their hands dirty. They let – not get – other people do the dirty work for them.
(n.b. A lot of today’s posts as well as the negative stuff of the past (i.e., #antiprotips & “Dear Nafs”) are prime examples of common cognitive biases like confirmation bias, various attribution biases, halo & horn effects. This update is a prime example of the Dunning–Kruger effect.)